Newly wedded? Contemplating separation?
Gone are the days of puppy love that turned us pink like teenagers who locked eyes across the room. Responsibilities, same old arguments, and frustrations have now dimmed the light of newly-weds who feel alone in what is supposed to be a partnership.
Experts say the change in our roles and responsibilities are often the reason for feeling estranged. Couples have very different dynamics before marriage; they often support, spend time, and get to know each other, but when they are in a committed, live-in arrangement, their roles are vastly different towards each other and their families. They are uprooted from a familiar, comfortable space to one filled with newer challenges leading to adjustment issues, resulting in gradually drifting apart from one and other if left unresolved.
Failing to accept each other and not meeting expectations are also the leading causes of divorce. Couples often find both desirable and undesirable characteristics in each other. If they don’t communicate what they don’t like but expect their partner to change, it could lead to a realization that they’d been in a relationship with a false idea of who their partner is. This makes one feel betrayed and gives room for dissatisfaction and arguments.
Other issues include –
lack of healthy communication, comparing themselves to the others’ progress, failing to understand each other and their families, living a life driven by social media and societal pressures, lacking patience with each other, and intimacy issues.
The initial phase of a marriage is one that needs a couple to be empathetic. There should be an understanding that this is a new experience for both and might have to endure tough times to make the relationship work. Seeking perfection while they should be supporting, learning from, and solving problems with each other only creates for a chaotic environment at home.
The couple needs to make time to understand each other’s perspective, communicate efficiently, learn to trust each other to strengthen their bond and intimacy. They also need to realize that the other person cannot be ‘perfect,’ there will be flaws, imperfections, and quirks that they must accept and embrace. Before jumping on the divorce train, the newly-wed couple should discuss and seek help from their loved ones or professionals. Professional expertise in the subject might help resolve difficulties and overcome hurdles to maintain a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
After all, “A good marriage isn’t something to find; it’s something you make.”